"Lisa, the whole reason we have elected officials is so we don't have to think all the time. Just like that rain forest scare a few years back. Our officials saw there was a problem and they fixed it, didn't they?"
"Debating a conservative TV personality is like wrestling a pig. You'll both end up covered in shit, and the pig doesn't mind. "
"Sir, a woman's preaching is like a dog's walking on his hind legs. It is not done well; but you are surprised to find it done at all."
"... he's a very high-minded humanitarian type who's traveled all around the world to look at poor people, and while the two of them are lounging around one of her gorgeous houses he gets wrought up and says, 'Ellen, Ellen, do you know what it is to be truly hungry:' and she says, 'I'm hungry right now!"
Movie - Leave Her To Heaven
FREE CAR WITH PURCHASE OF 1,000,000,000 TACOS
Sign in Mexican restaurant
"In battle, in forest, at the precipice of the mountains, on the dark great sea, in the midst of javelins and arrows, in sleep, in confusion, in the depths of shame, the good deeds a man has done defend him."
IRAN ACCUSED OF NOT PROVING IT IS NOT DOING SOMETHING IT HAS BEEN ACCUSED OF DOING.
Headline in The Onion
Colonize: To exterminate the indigenous population with a combination of prayers and smallpox and then plunder the natural resources.
"Punish the monkey, let the organ|grinder go."
"May the good lord take a like'n to ya."
Old Southern blessing
"If I wanted to listen to an asshole I'd fart"
"We can always hire another miner, we gott'a buy another mule."
Coal company foreman explaining why the coal companies always more concerned about the welfare of their mules than their miners.
(This also explains why Capitalism is more profitable than slavery. Slaves were even more expensive than mules.)
"You cannot plan the future. Only presumptuous fools plan. The wise man steers."