"Not to know what happened before your own birth is to always be a child"
"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."
"Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none."
"Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment."
"If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around."
"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your common sense."
"Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger."
"There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened."
"Often wrong, but never in doubt."